The contest for the next Mr. International Rubber followed close on the heels of American Brotherhood Weekend, and we were back in Chicago once again.
I always enjoy Chicago, and try to get out and explore a little more each time I go. This trip was a bit odd, though. I spent the weekend feeling...disconnected. It wasn't the wonderful people we saw and spent time with, and it wasn't the fun event and vendor market. It was something in me that just wouldn't "click" and let me relax and enjoy myself.
Yes, I had fun. The annual date with my fisting friend was a rocking good time. (I do not have beginner-sized hands.) The meals, the friends, the atmosphere - all were good. But....meh.
I know that I enjoy rubber, but at the same time, I am not a "rubber man". I enjoy the feel of my surf suit from E7, and I love the gloves, boots, gas masks, skin tight fun. But not that weekend. Most often, it felt like I'd rather be home and in my own space and away from everyone. I do not enjoy that feeling. Was I getting sick, or getting over being sick? nope. My body was there, my goal was to be present and have fun, and my head/emotions were completely against it. I've been back over the emotional landscape of the weekend many times, but I have no answers. Sometimes, you just don't click. Here's to hoping that doesn't happen again soon.
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