Take Your Clothes Off!

I'm an introvert - I like my quiet time. I don't do well with small talk - the concept eludes me. And I still manage to have fun and enjoy the crazy busy noisy chaos that is International Mr Leather (and sometimes Mid-Atlantic Leather). How? By having a purpose, a reason, and a direction for conversation. Most of the year, I sit in an office with a computer, doing non-social activities to fund the adventure that is my life. But once or twice a year, I leave the computer behind and become a retail salesperson for one of my dearest friends. Carlos is the designer and tailor of CJ's Leather. He creates the designs and patterns, orders the hides, and makes the garments. What you see in his shop is the work of his hands. It is quality, made in America by a local business that supports his community in more ways than I can count. And when I'm in his shop, the crowds disappear into a dull roar in the background and the only thing that matters is the customers that come in to shop. Here is where I feel safe. I am with my friends. I care about what I'm doing. I want people to look good, to feel sexy, and to enjoy their purchase. In this shop, I have a reason to talk to people, to connect, to ask what they're looking for and help them find the right fit. Every year at IML, I get to dress someone in leather for the first time. They find themselves looking in a mirror and seeing, for the first time, a new sexy image that fills them with confidence. That's an amazing experience to share.
The crowds ebb and flow, there are times we cannot slow down to eat lunch, and there are strange moments of stillness in the middle of the afternoon where we check the racks and try to clean up the shop area, and in those moments, I find the peace that keeps me sane.
And then there are the perks...in order to put the leather on, their clothes must come off. Some men are shy, others are NOT so shy. Some will use the dressing room, and others just shuck their clothes right there. Do I appreciate a beautiful body? Oh yes. Can I remain professional and deal with finding them the right garment? Yes. But I do enjoy it? Oh hell yes.
Customer: I'd like to try on this armband.
Staff: Take your clothes off!
Customer: But it's just an armband...
Staff: Yes it is, but you're going to want to try on everything in the shop, and this just makes it easier for everyone.
Customer: If you say so....
And they do it. And, in most cases, they do want to try on a shirt, a pair of pants, a vest, chaps, a harness, and we help them find the right fit and design for their body. Then everybody's happy. But I am in Denver for 51 weeks out of the year. When I say "Take your clothes off!" they just look at me and walk away. That's the magic of IML - for four days out of the year, they do it!

MAL 2013 part 4

Monday brought us back to reality with gathering all of our things and packing the suitcases for the trip home. In the spare minutes, I was able to set up lunch with our friend Ivory Mistress Jae, who lives in Frederick. She lived in Denver years ago, and we always love to see her, so she met us at Union Central Station for lunch. Two hours later, we headed back to the Smithsonian to the National Art Gallery to see one of Michaelangelo's unfinished sculptures of David. Of course, it is housed in a wing dedicated to Italian renaissance art, so I tormented Luckey with a discourse of why these portraits are so important to historical costumers. He was less than thrilled until we found a cluster of paintings focusing on St George and the Dragon.
When it was time to head back to grab our bags, we found out that his friends Kelev and Joshua offered us a ride to the airport - OK! That was very kind and saved us quite a bit of time on the Metro. Plus I finally got to meet them - super nice guys!
Reality kicked in on the long plane ride home. Usually it feels like going home is shorter than leaving for an event, but not this trip. The plane was packed and it just felt ...slow...in the air. Chris picked us up at the airport and we met Hayes for a quick dinner before parting ways.
Overall, the weekend was so many things - busy, crazy, fun, sexy, relaxing, exhausting, refreshing, inspiring, and so much more. Thank you to everyone we met, everyone we saw, everyone in the Centaurs for producing a successful weekend. Thank you to Chris and Hayes, for sharing us with the community this year - I know it's not always easy. And than you to Luckey, for taking this journey with me.

MAL 2013 part 3

Eastern Standard time, you are not my friend. Getting up at 7am in DC means it's 5am for my Mountain Standard time body. But we did it so we could shower and make it to breakfast with the other International Titleholders at 8am. Nick was there, and so was Axel; Luckey and I made four. This was a fantastic time to visit and get better acquainted. In the busyness of the PR job that is titleholding, you may share an honor with several others, but not really know them. That's why this meal was important. So we started off Sunday with a couple of fantastic men, just getting to know each other and building the bonds of friendship.
Then it was naptime - these long days were catching up with me and Luckey. Robert had to leave and catch a plane when we got up, so the two of us crashed for an hour until it was my time to head back to CJ's to help out at 11. The Mr. Mid-Atlantic Leather title contest started at 1,so Luckey got a longer nap than I did. We headed into the ballroom for the contest and settled in for the next few hours. The Centaur Motorcycle Club hosts the weekend, and this is the annual installation of new officers. They are a dedicated group of men, working hard to put on a large annual event. They have my thanks for all their efforts. There were only three contestants this year for the title, and I was a little surprised at the number - in the past there have been eight or more contestants. But that didn't mean the judges had an easy job. All three men had an excellent stage presence and handled themselves well. Ultimately, the title was awarded to Bryce Caine, and then it was time for lots of pictures.
The vendor mart closed at 5, and it was time to get back to work. A small team of dedicated workers disassembled the CJ's Leather booth and packed it for load-out. We were the first ones out to the loading dock. Ultimately, the truck was loaded and locked at 6:15 and we all breathed a sigh of relief. In the meantime, while we were waiting for Carlos to bring the truck from the parking lot, we pitched in and helped pack up the neighboring shop, Le Chateau Exotique, in record time as well.
8pm brought us to the DC Coast with friends. We enjoyed the evening's meal, but the richness upset Luckey's stomach a bit, so he headed back to the hotel early. We closed out the restaurant, chatting with the staff and celebrating friendships old and new. While the host hotel was emptying out, there was still a lot of cruising to be found. I found my bed and crashed with Luckey and that was a night.

MAL 2013 part 2

Saturday was going to be exciting - puppy mosh day! We got up and moving around 9am, a little more slowly after two very full and busy days, and started on our third. After breakfast, Luckey and Robert went roaming aroud the hotel and socializing and I spent a few hours working in CJ's Leather. Time flew, and it was off to the pit! We'd contacted the Mid Atlantic Kennel Klub earlier to alert them to Luckey's honey allergy and offer to bring gummy bears, so there was very low concern about treats. At the mosh area, we met Slavepup Axel, and decided to talk about title stuff later after the playtime! And away they went - mosh mosh mosh sniff push wiggle scratch rub bark howl mosh mosh mosh. Luckey met his match in Pup Tank, the first pup to square off with Luckey and flip him in a puppy bulldozing match. Luckey's eyes went HUGE. All the hard playing pups wore themselves out in the first hour, and dragged themselves off to the edges of the moshpit area to chat and get acquainted. All the smaller, less rowdy pups kept playing for the full two and a half hours, and I stayed busy throwing balls, rubbing bellies, and scritching ears. This was a blast! Post mosh, Luckey went to get cleaned up and patch up his knees and elbows, and I went back to work for a few more hours at CJ's until it was time to get changed and dress up.
Leather Cocktails is where you put on your shiny best dressy leathers and socialize, drink, and snack in the company of your shiny dressed up friends for a few hours. There's always some beautiful leathers on display, and lots of hot men as well. Good discussions, networking, and hanging with the extended family is a great way to spend a few hours anywhere you go. They wrapped up with a Parade of Colors to pay respect to the various clubs that traveled to support the event. Then it was back to the market, the lobby, the bar to shop, cruise, and drink. I sat in the restaurant at dinner with some long-time friends catching up on our lives while Luckey and Robert made several forays out into the crowd and hotel, always coming back to check in every hour or so. We also made plans to visit the DC Coast for dinner on Sunday night after things slowed down. This is a favorite dinner spot for several of us, and while the food is stunning, the service is stellar, so I was excited to take Luckey to one of my favorite spots in DC. Bedtime came early (sort of) because we had Titleholder Breakfast at 8am on Sunday.

MAL 2013 part 1

4:30 am is not my favorite time of day, but boarding at 6:40 was our smartest time to fly if we wanted to see as much of DC as possible on Thursday. Luckey hasn't been before, and we're going to play tourist. Our friends Kinkster Kell and Kinkster Adam were sitting directly behind us on the flight. I would say Kell kicked my seat for the whole first half of the flight, but it was really just turbulence. It's the first event of the new year, and MAL weekend is going to be a blast!
Luckey used the airtime to work on artwork for the next Puppies In The Mountains poster and I worked on my blog. Puppies! We confirmed a date for the event - October 4 & 5, 2013. Woo Hoo!

Touring was fun, but a little taxing on my feet in 17" harness boots. My hiking shoes were still in transit. After walking my legs off, we made our way back to the hotel and got checked in. Our friend Robert arrived at the room, and we met friends for dinner. That night we helped our friends at CJ's Leather unload their vendor shop into the market and got busy socializing. I was reconnecting with people I've known for years, and Luckey was meeting people he's been talking to online or just introducing himself to new people. He's kinda fearless at that.

Friday morning found us up and moving early again for a day at the National Zoo! We were hunting penguins, pandas, and cows. Our friend Jessie joined us, and he's an amazing and wonderful man (even if he does feed the tree rats). The pups were tasked with finding the zoo and the proper visiting hours, so Jessie and I just followed along. We learned that cheetahs chirp. I thought it was a bird somewhere, but no. We watched their mouths move and this strange chirping sound came out. No penguins in the national zoo, but there were lions and tigers and panda bears! And two cows - I guess city kids need to see where milk and hamburgers come from. After the zoo we found the Natual History Museum and checked out the dinosaur bones and paid a visit to the Hope Diamond.
Fantastic dinner in a Kelly's Irish Times Pub - fish &chips, corned beef & veggies, mac & cheese with chunks of corned beef...mmmmm. Now it was time to pack up and change clothes to head off to Bear Happy Hour at Town. The original plan was for Luckey to do a rope suspension demo, but that did not work out. He did some standing bondage on Robert instead and we enjoyed the vibe for a few hours. Great dance music and lots of hot guys everywhere! Back to the host hotel for the DC boys of Leather party and more social time. Jessie spent the whole day running around with us, and he brought so much joy and fun to the day - if you ever get the chance to spend the day with Mr San Francisco Leather 2012 - Do it!

Contest Prep

Last night I was honored to join a panel of local Leatherfolk to help prepare our local contestants for the regional Master/slave competition. We started with a mock interview session, where the four of us seated on a judging panel took turns asking them questions. We stumped them a few times, and got to dig a little deeper into their application paperwork. Next they gave a 10 minute joint presentation and then fielded questions from the 16+ people in the audience, and the judges did not ask anything this time. Then came each of their two minute speeches, followed by a volley of pop questions submitted in writing by everyone in the room. Those questions turned out to be more serious than funny, and mine did not get pulled from the hat to answer. Kinda bummed, because I wanted to see what kind of three-way scene they would concoct with JarJar Binks or William Shatner. Everyone filled out evaluation sheets through the night, and handed those in for constructive feedback. After 2.5 hours, most everyone left, and the “judges” were left with the contestants to review the evening for another half hour.

I really enjoyed the time we spent and I feel like I know them better. Did they do well? They did a great job. Were they perfect? Nope. Can they improve? Yes. I believe they will take the verbal feedback we provided, along with the stack of written evaluations and find ways to improve their overall presentation. Thanks, Master Trent, for inviting me to participate!

MIR 2012

The contest for the next Mr. International Rubber followed close on the heels of American Brotherhood Weekend, and we were back in Chicago once again.
I always enjoy Chicago, and try to get out and explore a little more each time I go. This trip was a bit odd, though. I spent the weekend feeling...disconnected. It wasn't the wonderful people we saw and spent time with, and it wasn't the fun event and vendor market. It was something in me that just wouldn't "click" and let me relax and enjoy myself.
Yes, I had fun. The annual date with my fisting friend was a rocking good time. (I do not have beginner-sized hands.) The meals, the friends, the atmosphere - all were good. But....meh.
I know that I enjoy rubber, but at the same time, I am not a "rubber man". I enjoy the feel of my surf suit from E7, and I love the gloves, boots, gas masks, skin tight fun. But not that weekend. Most often, it felt like I'd rather be home and in my own space and away from everyone. I do not enjoy that feeling. Was I getting sick, or getting over being sick? nope. My body was there, my goal was to be present and have fun, and my head/emotions were completely against it. I've been back over the emotional landscape of the weekend many times, but I have no answers. Sometimes, you just don't click. Here's to hoping that doesn't happen again soon.

ABW 2012

American Brotherhood Weekend is one of my favorite events of the year. I always explain it as the family reunion where all the cool aunts and uncles and cousins show up for a great party. In this case, aunts and uncles and cousins translates into People Who Work In Their Communities. This wonderful group of people are active, contributing members of their own local leather communities and they are happy to share their experiences. What works, what doesn't work, pitfalls, new ideas - these people are full of information and they are happy to share. And they all come together to support this weekend that selects three titleholders - American LeatherMan, American LeatherWoman, and American Leatherboy - the American Leather Family.

Yep, I'm biased. My boy holds the American Leatherboy 2008 title, and he had a great year working and traveling with Randy Carmenaty and Joan Norry. This is my extended family, and I love them.

So I was excited to get to take the puppy along with us to Chicago for ABW 2012 and introduce him to our extended family there. Bonus points that we both got to show up with shiny new titles. Chris and I had booked our airline flights months in advance (got to plan ahead!) and we were able to find Luckey a last minute deal on airfare that was even better than ours. (score!)

Thursday night was the Contestant/Judge/Family night at Dean's home, and the hospitality was flawless, as always. Food, drinks, friendships new and old, introductions, and catching up - all the ingredients for a fun night.

Friday I did some touring around Chicago with Luckey and Chris joined us after lunch for a boat tour of the architecture and the lake. I thought I was going to freeze out on the water. Later came dinner at Frontera Grill and back to the hotel where the last member of our weekend pack joined us, our friend Pup Dino. (I know you probably read that as Dee-noe, but he says it's Die-noe, because he likes Dinosaurs!) Together we made the trek to Touche' for the Meet & Greet to officially start the weekend. Lots of fun there!

Saturday afternoons brought us to the Leather Archives & Museum for the contest. The judges certainly had their work cut out for them - the contestants were strong and very qualified.

Saturday night was out in Boystown to meet local friends and hang out at the CellBlock, and Luckey got his 'hawk cleaned up by local barber Fluffy (the kitty) in the Bondage Barber Chair. There was rope, drinks, making out, and general fun all around.

Sunday at the LA&M finished out the contest, Luckey and I got to speak for a few minutes about our contest, and then the new titleholders were announced! Congrats to Jeff and Doc, and Tyler agreed to represent for another year as Leatherboy. There was much happiness and picture taking. Then we set off to SideTrack after the Victory Party at Touche for the winners. Eventually, most everyone wound up at SideTrack too. Purple Squishie Drinks! Yes, they are really called Ketel One Krush, but many years ago, I drank many many of them and named them Purple Squishies! (that's another story) Luckey found that the Red Squishy drinks were more to his taste.

Luckey headed back to Denver on Monday; Dino left early on Tuesday; Chris and I flew home to Denver on Tuesday night. Everybody had a great time and we started planning our return trip to MIR.
Overall, I counted the trip a great success. We had fun and Luckey got to meet our extended Chicago family, plus all the cool aunts and uncles and cousins in our ABW family.

I Give Up

2012 was a long year. Not just the 365.25 days of it, but it felt like I was in an emotional wringer for most of it.
Started a new job in January, and while I am very thankful for the job and the income and the opportunities, there was a lot of frustration with the work environment and the organization and many factors out of my control. But that all ended when I was laid off due to budget constrainsts at the end of November. My attitude is good, though. There will be another job.
There were medical issues, both in my life and other's lives, and that makes my heart ache.
Some of my close friends have serious financial difficulties, and that makes me sad.
My grandfather crossed over into his next great adventure this last year. The lessons I learned from him and my grandmother, who crossed over about two years ago, have shaped my life and my heart and I would not be the man I am today without their influence and love. I miss them.
Other friends left this life as well - some after a long battle and other startlingly fast. I miss them.
So as the days grew shorter and shorter all through December, and the nights longer and colder, it was easy to let the darkness creep into my thinking as well.

And it was easy to forget all the joy and gladness that I found in 2012.
What were those?
I got to start a new job! That was fun. So was getting paid!
Medical issues can be helped with sensible diets, moderate exercise, and modern pharmaceuticals.
My grandfather is no longer suffering in his 93-year-old body that was rapidly wearing down.
I can still pass on the things my grandparents taught me to anybody who will listen.
My job isn't making me crazy anymore!
I have wide open opportunities for employment!
I love my family. It's wierd, and we're a little strange, and I love them. They love me too.
My pup and I took a little trip to Tulsa to have an adventure, and came back as International Puppy and Trainer 2012! That's an adventure that keeps on growing!

So as I look at the year in review, eating black-eyed peas to invite good luck into the year to come, I also look at my good friend Brent's column "Why Don't You Just Give Up?" Go read it now.
I was in the audience at IML when Brent delivered this speech, and it earned a standing ovation. He rocked it.
So I'm going to spend the next week looking for things I need to give up, things that hold me back, and, oh yeah, a new job so I can finance this great adventure called my life.