If I knew all I know now, would I take that knowledge and go back to high school?
Nope.
I was not happy in high school. There were some serious secrets I was keeping from the world. But that was the early 1980's, and things have changed.
Now there are gay-straight alliances, clubs in high school where people can talk and learn and be themselves and not feel so alone. While it's not a perfect system, it's certainly better than NOTHING, which is what I had growing up in a small town in the bible-thumping south.
So when my friend asked me to come and participate on a panel discussion at a local high school's GSA meeting, I was happy to go.
It was their first attempt, so they invited almost 20 people and hoped that a few would show up. Well, almost everybody showed up - the panelists nearly outnumbered the students.
As a panel, we spanned an age range from 24 through 60+; sporty, academic, engineers, teachers, leatherfolk, drag queens, and parents of grown children too.
We introduced ourselves down the line and told a little piece of our personal stories. Then there were some basic questions that bounced around, and some Q&A from the students. With a panel that size, that was all that could happen in the 90 minutes they scheduled for us. The kids were amazing - they were engaged and respectful. The faculty was supportive and even the principal attended, spoke her full support, and declared no tolerance for bullying.
There were refreshments afterwards, and more visiting among everyone present.
Based on respect and confidentiality, that's about all I'm going to say.
But what really hit me was this - those kids are alive and hopeful and honest about their sexuality. At their age, I was barely living, despondent, and lying to myself and everyone around me. I dated a really sweet girl, but knew it would never go anywhere. I spent my time in church knowing that they would never accept me. I entertained thoughts of dying because it would hurt less than living.
And honestly, if the 2013 me had ever visited the 1984 me, grownup me would scare the crap out of high school me. I don't know if I would have believed that I could be happy, not be alone, find love, be at peace with my Creator, live publicly, and experience such joy. But I am, and I do. And I hope that what we did will inspire those kids to be the best and most amazing humans they can be.
Thank you for the opportunity!
Friday, July 19, 2013
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Colorado Leather Weekend
Home at last after three weeks on the road! But not to rest - The Mr. Leather Colorado Foundation weekend of contests is here! During this first weekend of May, we select the new Mr. Leather Colorado, Mr. Colorado Rubber, and Colorado Bootblack titleholders.
I was honored to be able to judge this contest for the second year in a row, and I had the distinct honor of serving as head judge. Luckey served as one of two Talleymasters - the folks who collect the scores from each judge and do all the math and ultimately tell us who won.
Friday night started with a meet & greet at the Denver Wrangler. This is a chance for the contestants to interact with the public and the judges and show off their social skills. For the general public, it's a chance to socialize and meet the contestants. But for the judges - the game is on. We are watching everything the contestants do and how they do it. Social interactions are a major part of being a titleholder, and most of it occurs in a bar setting.
After the night slowed down, it was time to sleep and get ready for the contest on Saturday. Interviews started around 4pm, and we had three contestants for Mr. Leather Co, two contestants for Mr. Colorado Rubber, and one for Colorado Bootblack. The panel of judges were no pushovers - they were local and regional folks, most were titleholders, but all were experienced and had strong views of what kind of person they wanted to send forward to represent Colorado.
There were hard questions asked; emotions were high with some contestants, others were peaceful.
When it was all done, Lonnell took the title of Mr. Leather Colorado, Boy Paul will represent Mr. Colorado Rubber, and Boy Erik will serve as the Colorado Bootblack. Congratulations to all three of these fine men!
Sunday brought us back to the Denver Wrangler for a Victory Beer Bust, which served as both a party to celebrate the winners and a fundraiser towards their travel funds.
I want to thank the panel of judges - Michael, Dayton, Nate, Fox, Treasure, and Marty - it was a pleasure to work with all of you!
Thank you Rocky and Luckey - you kept us all on track and made sure our scores were legible.
And I want to thank the producers of the contest, the Mr. Leather Colorado Foundation, for the opportunity to serve on the panel and for their hard work every year.
There are some pics of the event here!
Now it's time to rest for a few weeks and pack for IML!
I was honored to be able to judge this contest for the second year in a row, and I had the distinct honor of serving as head judge. Luckey served as one of two Talleymasters - the folks who collect the scores from each judge and do all the math and ultimately tell us who won.
Friday night started with a meet & greet at the Denver Wrangler. This is a chance for the contestants to interact with the public and the judges and show off their social skills. For the general public, it's a chance to socialize and meet the contestants. But for the judges - the game is on. We are watching everything the contestants do and how they do it. Social interactions are a major part of being a titleholder, and most of it occurs in a bar setting.
After the night slowed down, it was time to sleep and get ready for the contest on Saturday. Interviews started around 4pm, and we had three contestants for Mr. Leather Co, two contestants for Mr. Colorado Rubber, and one for Colorado Bootblack. The panel of judges were no pushovers - they were local and regional folks, most were titleholders, but all were experienced and had strong views of what kind of person they wanted to send forward to represent Colorado.
There were hard questions asked; emotions were high with some contestants, others were peaceful.
When it was all done, Lonnell took the title of Mr. Leather Colorado, Boy Paul will represent Mr. Colorado Rubber, and Boy Erik will serve as the Colorado Bootblack. Congratulations to all three of these fine men!
Sunday brought us back to the Denver Wrangler for a Victory Beer Bust, which served as both a party to celebrate the winners and a fundraiser towards their travel funds.
I want to thank the panel of judges - Michael, Dayton, Nate, Fox, Treasure, and Marty - it was a pleasure to work with all of you!
Thank you Rocky and Luckey - you kept us all on track and made sure our scores were legible.
And I want to thank the producers of the contest, the Mr. Leather Colorado Foundation, for the opportunity to serve on the panel and for their hard work every year.
There are some pics of the event here!
Now it's time to rest for a few weeks and pack for IML!
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
CLAW
It's the third weekend of April and we're heading east again, but northward to Cleveland for the ever-growing Cleveland Leather Awareness Weekend (CLAW). There was no contest during the weekend, but it was a puppy bonanza! Classes for an amazing variety of interests (including puppy) held in multiple locations, silent auctions rocked the nights, the vendor mart was large and the selections were wide. It takes an army of volunteers to keep this event running smoothly, and they did an amazing job.
One night offered a puppy obstacle course, complete with an MC to keep the crowd involved and the action moving. I volunteered to handle any pups without handlers so they could participate, because it was a team event. I was paired with a wonderful young pup whose handler/partner was busy volunteering and could not make the event. We had a chat about things and I learned that this was his first time as a puppy outside their house - big step for him! We talked about things and got comfortable with each other, and then he eased into headspace. Once we hit the floor of the agility course, he was ready and romping. He did a great job and we had a fun couple of minutes out in the middle of the room with a whole crowd watching. Later, his partner joined us and we had a friendly visit about how well he did. They were both proud, and they should be.
I was fortunate to spend some time with Boy Matt from New Jersey. This sexy man really helped me balance the needs of my introvert against the stress of the third weekend in a row traveling to larger events. I was worn a bit thin, and sharing time with him helped me recharge my batteries. Thank you Matt!
The second night offered a puppy mosh pit for the pups at CLAW. The attendance vastly outgrew the allocated space, long before it could begin. Wow. They were incredibly under-spaced. The mosh crew did their very best with what they had, and I was pleased that they were able to run and control the pit, but it was super crowded. Hopefully the event organizers will take note and triple or quadruple the space allocated before next year's event. Luckey did not join the mosh - it was impossible to control the snacks with such a large attendance, and his honey allergy makes him vulnerable to far too many things. So he stays alive for now, and we're ok with that.
We saw so many people, so many puppies, talked, visited, took photos, laughed, ate, and bonded. This really is an event that can be about anything you want it to be - so round up a group of your best dozen traveling friends and start planning to attend in 2014!
One night offered a puppy obstacle course, complete with an MC to keep the crowd involved and the action moving. I volunteered to handle any pups without handlers so they could participate, because it was a team event. I was paired with a wonderful young pup whose handler/partner was busy volunteering and could not make the event. We had a chat about things and I learned that this was his first time as a puppy outside their house - big step for him! We talked about things and got comfortable with each other, and then he eased into headspace. Once we hit the floor of the agility course, he was ready and romping. He did a great job and we had a fun couple of minutes out in the middle of the room with a whole crowd watching. Later, his partner joined us and we had a friendly visit about how well he did. They were both proud, and they should be.
I was fortunate to spend some time with Boy Matt from New Jersey. This sexy man really helped me balance the needs of my introvert against the stress of the third weekend in a row traveling to larger events. I was worn a bit thin, and sharing time with him helped me recharge my batteries. Thank you Matt!
The second night offered a puppy mosh pit for the pups at CLAW. The attendance vastly outgrew the allocated space, long before it could begin. Wow. They were incredibly under-spaced. The mosh crew did their very best with what they had, and I was pleased that they were able to run and control the pit, but it was super crowded. Hopefully the event organizers will take note and triple or quadruple the space allocated before next year's event. Luckey did not join the mosh - it was impossible to control the snacks with such a large attendance, and his honey allergy makes him vulnerable to far too many things. So he stays alive for now, and we're ok with that.
We saw so many people, so many puppies, talked, visited, took photos, laughed, ate, and bonded. This really is an event that can be about anything you want it to be - so round up a group of your best dozen traveling friends and start planning to attend in 2014!
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
IMsL
From the warmth of the south to the chilly mornings in the city by the bay, three days later we arrived in beautiful San Francisco for the International Ms Leather and International Ms BootBlack contests. Our own local Colorado Bootblack, Foxfire Boots, was competing and we were there to cheer her along.
San Francisco is a wonderful city, and we walked our little legs off from the time we arrived until the time we left. Our friend Shazzy joined us for the weekend for a mini vacation and some shopping. Once we settled into our room, we set off on a mission - boots! Luckey needed a pair that fit him better, and my poor zip-side combat boots are showing their age. I was looking at Corcorans, and Luckey was looking to find something that fits well - he has lean calves, so fitting can be a challenge. Mr. S Leather was a great resource and we had lots of fun there, and followed on with a visit to Stomper's Boots. We finished our day with Shazzy ordering a custom pair of Wesco Boots for herself from Stomper's, Luckey finding a pair of oh-so-gently-used Wesco boots in Stomper's consignment section, and I found a pair of Corcorans at Mr. S. Success!
After a fantastic dinner, we joined our brothers and sisters at the host hotel for a Burlesque/Boylesque show - we had so much fun! There were amazing presentations, costumes, reveals, and people. As men, we were certainly in the minority at the event, and we were treated wonderfully by all the other attendees. There were classes, dungeon times, shopping, and so many wonderful people to socialize with that time flew by all weekend.
And yes - true to form - we ate. Blueberry pancakes in a wonderful diner, next to a tasty Indian restaurant just two blocks from the hotel - they got our business twice. Japanese/Sushi for lunch, tasty dinner - we ate well.
I made the time to sit in on the public interviews for the bootblack title, and enjoyed that very much. Shazzy and Luckey had a blast with the corsets in the vendor mart, and she came home with three new ones. (It was buy two, get one free!) We enjoyed the contest for both nights, and were blown away by so many amazing speeches - I did not envy the judges their job to select only one!
When the scores were tallied, Sarha carried the International Ms Leather title forward to a new year, joined by Bella with the International Ms BootBlack title. Congratulations to them both!
And congratulations to each and every one of the brave individuals who stood up and were willing to put themselves on the line for the opportunity to represent their community. The experience is a learning time for each one, and not always the easiest weekend. It takes guts and heart to stand up, and each one of them should be proud of themselves.
With such fun and so many friends, and some of the best blueberry pancakes I've ever eaten, it was hard to leave San Francisco. But it was time to go home, do laundry, repack, and head out one more time...
San Francisco is a wonderful city, and we walked our little legs off from the time we arrived until the time we left. Our friend Shazzy joined us for the weekend for a mini vacation and some shopping. Once we settled into our room, we set off on a mission - boots! Luckey needed a pair that fit him better, and my poor zip-side combat boots are showing their age. I was looking at Corcorans, and Luckey was looking to find something that fits well - he has lean calves, so fitting can be a challenge. Mr. S Leather was a great resource and we had lots of fun there, and followed on with a visit to Stomper's Boots. We finished our day with Shazzy ordering a custom pair of Wesco Boots for herself from Stomper's, Luckey finding a pair of oh-so-gently-used Wesco boots in Stomper's consignment section, and I found a pair of Corcorans at Mr. S. Success!
After a fantastic dinner, we joined our brothers and sisters at the host hotel for a Burlesque/Boylesque show - we had so much fun! There were amazing presentations, costumes, reveals, and people. As men, we were certainly in the minority at the event, and we were treated wonderfully by all the other attendees. There were classes, dungeon times, shopping, and so many wonderful people to socialize with that time flew by all weekend.
And yes - true to form - we ate. Blueberry pancakes in a wonderful diner, next to a tasty Indian restaurant just two blocks from the hotel - they got our business twice. Japanese/Sushi for lunch, tasty dinner - we ate well.
I made the time to sit in on the public interviews for the bootblack title, and enjoyed that very much. Shazzy and Luckey had a blast with the corsets in the vendor mart, and she came home with three new ones. (It was buy two, get one free!) We enjoyed the contest for both nights, and were blown away by so many amazing speeches - I did not envy the judges their job to select only one!
When the scores were tallied, Sarha carried the International Ms Leather title forward to a new year, joined by Bella with the International Ms BootBlack title. Congratulations to them both!
And congratulations to each and every one of the brave individuals who stood up and were willing to put themselves on the line for the opportunity to represent their community. The experience is a learning time for each one, and not always the easiest weekend. It takes guts and heart to stand up, and each one of them should be proud of themselves.
With such fun and so many friends, and some of the best blueberry pancakes I've ever eaten, it was hard to leave San Francisco. But it was time to go home, do laundry, repack, and head out one more time...
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Atlanta Leather Pride Weekend
Four events in four weekends in four different states - yep, we're crazy. But we kicked it off by heading to beautiful Atlanta, Georgia, for Atlanta Leather Pride Weekend and the Mr./Ms. Atlanta Eagle Contest.
We flew out of cold Colorado weather and landed in warm Georgia weather - a welcome change of pace! Our hosts for the event were our friends Jeff Donaldson and James Menge. Jeff is the outgoing Mr. Atlanta Eagle 2012 AND the current American Leatherman 2012. James is his wonderful partner - such a pair of darling men opened up their home to us. We did, of course, have to pay tribute and pet the dogs as much as possible - they do run the house, you know.
The good people of the Atlanta Leather community took us into their pack and we ran with them for the weekend. In those busy days, we visited the Atlanta Eagle many times, ate great food, drank so much sweet tea that our mothers got diabetes, met folks in person that had previously only been online friends, snuggled with as many people as possible, spent time with the Panthers Leather/Levi club, ate amazing homemade peach cobbler, made new friends, participated in a photo shoot for a fundraising calendar (stay tuned for details), watched an amazing contest, and had a wonderful time.
Congratulations to Pup Tank, Mr Atlanta Eagle 2013, and Lizzy, Ms Atlanta Eagle 2013, and best of luck to them in their title year.
We were met with such warmth and kindness that it warmed our hearts all the way back to frigid Colorado. Our flight home was delayed - snow in Denver, but eventually we did get home. Time to unpack, do laundry, repack, and get ready for the next adventure!
We flew out of cold Colorado weather and landed in warm Georgia weather - a welcome change of pace! Our hosts for the event were our friends Jeff Donaldson and James Menge. Jeff is the outgoing Mr. Atlanta Eagle 2012 AND the current American Leatherman 2012. James is his wonderful partner - such a pair of darling men opened up their home to us. We did, of course, have to pay tribute and pet the dogs as much as possible - they do run the house, you know.
The good people of the Atlanta Leather community took us into their pack and we ran with them for the weekend. In those busy days, we visited the Atlanta Eagle many times, ate great food, drank so much sweet tea that our mothers got diabetes, met folks in person that had previously only been online friends, snuggled with as many people as possible, spent time with the Panthers Leather/Levi club, ate amazing homemade peach cobbler, made new friends, participated in a photo shoot for a fundraising calendar (stay tuned for details), watched an amazing contest, and had a wonderful time.
Congratulations to Pup Tank, Mr Atlanta Eagle 2013, and Lizzy, Ms Atlanta Eagle 2013, and best of luck to them in their title year.
We were met with such warmth and kindness that it warmed our hearts all the way back to frigid Colorado. Our flight home was delayed - snow in Denver, but eventually we did get home. Time to unpack, do laundry, repack, and get ready for the next adventure!
Monday, June 10, 2013
Colorado Master/slave Contest
About one week after we came back to Denver with the ITPC titles, I attended the Denver Danse of Life. It's a hook pull event with live drumming held in sacred space - bliss.
Afterward, one of the organizers, Master Trent, asked if I'd consider serving on the judging panel of the Colorado Master/slave Contest he was organizing. I looked at him and cocked my head. "You know how I feel about that track, right? I don't really get it." Yes, he knows. We've had many discussions before. He asked me to bring my Leather viewpoint to the panel and contribute that way. I agreed.
Friday night, March 29th, we met at the Denver Eagle for the introductory Meet & Greet with the contestants, judges, and general public. There were two contestant pairs, and both represented well. I sent a "mystery person" who was not dressed very leather-y to visit with the contestant pairs and report back to me later, and I made sure to spend some time visiting with each pair as well. It was a fun night and the turnout was great.
Saturday the 30th rolled around, and the judges and contestant sat down for Interviews at 2pm. That is always an interesting dance, and this one was open to the public. I was honored to sit on a panel of highly respectable judges from the local community, and I learned a great deal from them over the weekend. The interviews were fun, spirited, and intense. Afterwards, we broke for a snack/meal, and returned at 5 to begin the contest. When it was all done, Lady Marquetta and Slave Leonis carried the patches home with them and will represent their community for the next year. We all wish them the best.
While I don't "get" the entire Master/slave dynamic, I'm always learning more. This weekend exposed me to people who are willing to educate and share their lifestyle in a very public way. I appreciate their dedication and thoughtful discussions. They listened to me as I expressed some of my perceptions and opinions based on personal interactions; we laughed about some really funny bad examples of how NOT to approach this lifestyle, and they opened up their hearts to me so I could better understand a dynamic I haven't yet grasped. I am grateful and blessed. Thank you all.
Afterward, one of the organizers, Master Trent, asked if I'd consider serving on the judging panel of the Colorado Master/slave Contest he was organizing. I looked at him and cocked my head. "You know how I feel about that track, right? I don't really get it." Yes, he knows. We've had many discussions before. He asked me to bring my Leather viewpoint to the panel and contribute that way. I agreed.
Friday night, March 29th, we met at the Denver Eagle for the introductory Meet & Greet with the contestants, judges, and general public. There were two contestant pairs, and both represented well. I sent a "mystery person" who was not dressed very leather-y to visit with the contestant pairs and report back to me later, and I made sure to spend some time visiting with each pair as well. It was a fun night and the turnout was great.
Saturday the 30th rolled around, and the judges and contestant sat down for Interviews at 2pm. That is always an interesting dance, and this one was open to the public. I was honored to sit on a panel of highly respectable judges from the local community, and I learned a great deal from them over the weekend. The interviews were fun, spirited, and intense. Afterwards, we broke for a snack/meal, and returned at 5 to begin the contest. When it was all done, Lady Marquetta and Slave Leonis carried the patches home with them and will represent their community for the next year. We all wish them the best.
While I don't "get" the entire Master/slave dynamic, I'm always learning more. This weekend exposed me to people who are willing to educate and share their lifestyle in a very public way. I appreciate their dedication and thoughtful discussions. They listened to me as I expressed some of my perceptions and opinions based on personal interactions; we laughed about some really funny bad examples of how NOT to approach this lifestyle, and they opened up their hearts to me so I could better understand a dynamic I haven't yet grasped. I am grateful and blessed. Thank you all.
Catching up
I have been absent.
Situations and experiences overwhelmed my motivation to share, but I believe that it is important to discuss where we've been and all the wonderful people we've met. So instead of picking up now and leaving a two month gap, I'm going to backtrack and start filling in events as they occurred. Sorry to disappear like that.
Situations and experiences overwhelmed my motivation to share, but I believe that it is important to discuss where we've been and all the wonderful people we've met. So instead of picking up now and leaving a two month gap, I'm going to backtrack and start filling in events as they occurred. Sorry to disappear like that.
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