Atlanta Leather Pride Weekend

Four events in four weekends in four different states - yep, we're crazy. But we kicked it off by heading to beautiful Atlanta, Georgia, for Atlanta Leather Pride Weekend and the Mr./Ms. Atlanta Eagle Contest.
We flew out of cold Colorado weather and landed in warm Georgia weather - a welcome change of pace! Our hosts for the event were our friends Jeff Donaldson and James Menge. Jeff is the outgoing Mr. Atlanta Eagle 2012 AND the current American Leatherman 2012. James is his wonderful partner - such a pair of darling men opened up their home to us. We did, of course, have to pay tribute and pet the dogs as much as possible - they do run the house, you know.
The good people of the Atlanta Leather community took us into their pack and we ran with them for the weekend. In those busy days, we visited the Atlanta Eagle many times, ate great food, drank so much sweet tea that our mothers got diabetes, met folks in person that had previously only been online friends, snuggled with as many people as possible, spent time with the Panthers Leather/Levi club, ate amazing homemade peach cobbler, made new friends, participated in a photo shoot for a fundraising calendar (stay tuned for details), watched an amazing contest, and had a wonderful time.
Congratulations to Pup Tank, Mr Atlanta Eagle 2013, and Lizzy, Ms Atlanta Eagle 2013, and best of luck to them in their title year.
We were met with such warmth and kindness that it warmed our hearts all the way back to frigid Colorado.  Our flight home was delayed - snow in Denver, but eventually we did get home. Time to unpack, do laundry, repack, and get ready for the next adventure!

Colorado Master/slave Contest

About one week after we came back to Denver with the ITPC titles, I attended the Denver Danse of Life. It's a hook pull event with live drumming held in sacred space - bliss.
Afterward, one of the organizers, Master Trent, asked if I'd consider serving on the judging panel of the Colorado Master/slave Contest he was organizing. I looked at him and cocked my head. "You know how I feel about that track, right? I don't really get it." Yes, he knows. We've had many discussions before. He asked me to bring my Leather viewpoint to the panel and contribute that way. I agreed.

Friday night, March 29th, we met at the Denver Eagle for the introductory Meet & Greet with the contestants, judges, and general public. There were two contestant pairs, and both represented well. I sent a "mystery person" who was not dressed very leather-y to visit with the contestant pairs and report back to me later, and I made sure to spend some time visiting with each pair as well. It was a fun night and the turnout was great.

Saturday the 30th rolled around, and the judges and contestant sat down for Interviews at 2pm. That is always an interesting dance, and this one was open to the public. I was honored to sit on a panel of highly respectable judges from the local community, and I learned a great deal from them over the weekend. The interviews were fun, spirited, and intense. Afterwards, we broke for a snack/meal, and returned at 5 to begin the contest. When it was all done, Lady Marquetta and Slave Leonis carried the patches home with them and will represent their community for the next year. We all wish them the best.

While I don't "get" the entire Master/slave dynamic, I'm always learning more. This weekend exposed me to people who are willing to educate and share their lifestyle in a very public way. I appreciate their dedication and thoughtful discussions. They listened to me as I expressed some of my perceptions and opinions based on personal interactions; we laughed about some really funny bad examples of how NOT to approach this lifestyle, and they opened up their hearts to me so I could better understand a dynamic I haven't yet grasped. I am grateful and blessed. Thank you all.

Catching up

I have been absent.
Situations and experiences overwhelmed my motivation to share, but I believe that it is important to discuss where we've been and all the wonderful people we've met. So instead of picking up now and leaving a two month gap, I'm going to backtrack and start filling in events as they occurred. Sorry to disappear like that.

Minneapolis Getaway

Who goes to Minnesota in the cold of Springtime? We do!

Pup Luckey and I made some fantastic connections while we are at MAL, and our friends invited us to visit Minneapolis if we could find the time in our schedule. So we found a weekend that worked and confirmed with them - then booked it. Feb 22-25! Our excitement grew as we looked forward to reuniting with our friends and meeting new ones. In the meantime, the amazing Ryan Brown worked with the eagleBOLT bar to secure some time for a hands-on rope class. We sent him some photos and he put together a flyer the Monday before we left, so they had 5 days to publicize the fun.
Once we landed, the wonderful Puppy JP picked us up at the airport and swept us away to the Mall of America. Holy crap, this place is big. Commerce everywhere. More stores than you can shake many sticks at. And hot men with their wives, children, or friends galore - we are talking some serious eye candy here, people. We grabbed lunch and then wandered for a bit. After we unpacked and got in a quick wardrobe change, it was time to visit the eagleBOLT bar for buy-1-get-3 drinks and start meeting the good people of Minneapolis. We had a great night, and then walked up the street for some food (a recurring theme in this blog). Finally it was time to crash and head home to Bud&Randy's (our gracious hosts) for the night. Surprise! Our friend Robbie drove in for the weekend and popped out of the basement to surprise me. He's so sweet! (and he snuggles good too!)
We tried not to stay up too late because Luckey and I had a photo shoot the next morning.

Robbie cooked us all breakfast on Saturday morning, and then it was time for us to head out for pictures. Richard Yates is an amazing photographer. He has a fantastic eye, and loves to shoot leather, rubber, neoprene, fetish, and hot men. Well, I had neoprene and leather, so I got to play. We've seen some preliminary shots, and he has blown me away. Then it was time to grab a quick bite and get back to the eagleBOLT for rope class. 55 people showed up. holy crap. 45 people were actively grabbing rope, losing their shirts, getting tied up or tying someone up. Luckey had his debut as the main teaching voice in this presentation, and he did a great job. I circulated in the crowd, helping and pointing out things they were doing right. Such a great group of guys - they had fun and so did we.

As the hands-on portion finished up, Luckey demonstrated a rope suspension and hung up one of our friends. During the lift, I pulled the slack unevenly and we got a little snarl in one rope. Once tension was on it, it locked in and wasn't going anywhere, but it meant we were going to have fun taking him down. Once the demo was done, we worked our way back through the ropes to release him, but the main line was tightly snarled. Two options - physically lift him up to release the tension and try to untangle the rope (which may or may not be successful) or cut him down. It only took a few moments to decide, and we got to try out our handy belt knife we each carry for any kind of rope play. Two people supported the suspended individual, and a third cut the problem rope quickly and simply. Then we set him down on the ground and finished untying him. Afterwards, Luckey and I discussed what happened to cause the snarl and we'll be watching out for that scenario in the future. We always state in class that the person is more important than the rope. While he was in no danger, it was best and smartest just to cut the rope and move forward.

After a wonderful dinner, we returned to the eagleBOLT for the Bear Dance. The president of the local club invited us to come and do more suspensions during the event, with one caveat - he was the first to get strung up. So we did! Luckey tied and suspended people from about 11 until 2. Such fun! (I really need to work on my speed so I can contribute more.) While he tied, I was fielding questions and chatting up the crowd.

Sunday morning we broke our fast at Fat Nat's with some really tasty food. Robbie hit the road after that and we were sorry to see him go. Soon we were guests at the Atons spring rush party. Again, we met so many nice folks and had great conversations, ate tasty food, and really enjoyed ourselves. Then it was time to unwind at Bud&Randy's place. Off went the boots and we kicked back for sandwiches,  margaritas, and board games. Ryan joined JP, Luckey, and me for a simple evening of fun with Bud&Randy. I was a big time geek in my teens, loved Advanced Dungeons & Dragons - I'm totally hooked on Munchkin now. And Say Anything is very interesting too. (Have another drink!) All good things must end, and some people had to work in the morning, so it was bedtime all too soon.

Randy shuttled us to the airport the next day, and we passed the time before flying with bacon wrapped tater tots and delicious burgers. (yes, eating again) One of our new friends met us for a while in the airport, and was kind enough to bump our seats up to Exit Row for the flight home - more legroom - THANK YOU!

Minneapolis was beautiful and sunny the entire weekend, and it snowed a lot in Denver while we were gone. I'm ok with that. It was sunny in Denver when we got home. I'm ok with that too. We had such a great time in Minneapolis, we'd love to return. Our hosts were kind and generous, their home warm and friendly, and even their cats were sweet! (like Piewacket, who snuck in a nap on my chest while I was napping.) The community was so welcoming, open, friendly, and nice! Again, we came home tired but recharged, encouraged, and excited to be part of this community. Thank you to everyone in Minneapolis for a wonderful trip.

Survey time!

Lately I've had some interesting conversations about the Trainer/handler role, and our place in the community. It brought up some questions that I'd like to submit to a larger pack than those I personally know (both online and locally). To this end, I created two surveys on SurveyMonkey, one for Pups and one for Trainers/handlers. I'll keep them open for a month, and then post the results. Sharing just a few minutes of your day will help create a larger view of our community. Thank you!

Fill out the Puppy Survey

Fill out the Trainer/Handler Survey

As an additional note, the biggest issue that drove this survey was the statement "Most of the puppies out there don't want a handler or trainer. They're happy to be strays." While I do not agree with this, I cannot speak for all, or even most, puppies. So I'll ask as many as can to please bark and make your voices heard. Thank you!

Respecting Honesty - Let's talk about sex

Last week, a young man named Kyle Bella posted an article on Buzzfeed entitled "Why It's So Hard To Talk About Bareback Sex". It was, in my opinion, a well-written and honest article about a highly important topic. Take a few minutes to read it. Then take a few more minutes and read through the comments that follow it. By simply posting this article, he as demonstrated WHY it is so hard to talk about bareback sex. The reactions I read came in hard and fast. They were not nice - I heard anger, fear, shame, guilt. How are we to have an honest and meaningful discussion about this topic when the knee-jerk reactions are so negative?

I immediately question the motives of the individuals who post so quickly and use hurtful language. When I was younger and deeply in the closet, I had a ready arsenal of gay jokes and hateful words to deflect attention from myself, and it ultimately reflected my own inner guilt and shame.

If I ever share anything personal with another person, and their reaction follows those lines of negativity, guilt, and shame, I tend to shut up and get very quiet. Conversation stops, sharing stops, and I will be highly reluctant to bring up that topic again - ever.

There's a banquet of food for thought in this HuffPost Live Video - it's an interesting 30 minutes if you have the time.

I'm not going to declare and defend a position on bareback sex. That's not the point. The point is that I think it's important to pay attention to what's going on in the world around us, assess what we're seeing, and form opinions based on educated critical thinking, not on emotional biases.

The article quoted a recent survey stating "With more than 50% of gay men no longer using condoms consistently,..." and that is, according to one person, "an appaling statistic". But I always remember the quote popularly attributed to Mark Twain  "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."  There are unknown factors behind that 50%+ number. Without direct access to the raw data, it's hard to accurately determine if that's a realistic number that correlates to the opinion presented. It appears to say that half of gay men have abandoned condom use. But the reality could be different.

If a committed couple in an open relationship do not use condoms with one another, but do use condoms with others, that would qualify as not using condoms consistently. It would also be an approach adopted by many couples in open relationships to protect themselves and to more fully enjoy their sex lives and mitigate the risk of contracting STIs from individuals outside the relationship. Is that  a responsible and intelligent choice? I think so. But it also feeds into that statistic and fuels emotional responses. That's just one of many options to consider when viewing the statistics - there are so many other ways to dissect the data, but that's a basic example.

If I were to get on a soapbox in the middle of this posting, it would be this: Condoms do not equal Safe Sex. Condom use is a factor in SAFER sex, but the presence of a condom does not that sex will be perfectly safe. I'd like to see that verbage changed. It seems to engender a belief that sexual behavior without a condom is dangeous and unsafe, when safer sex practices exist that do not involve a condom. Condoms are useful and valuable in protection from a number of STIs, but the inclusion of a condom in sexual behaviors does not guarantee that you are SAFE from contracting an STI.

But back to the intended topic - how do you have an open and honest conversation about a sensitive and emotionally loaded topic? I think it needs to happen with honesty and respect and humility. If someone shares an intimate and vulnerable piece of their life with you (or the entire internet) and it triggers an emotional response, stop. Exhale, inhale. Look at what's happening. You may not agree, but respect the courage it took to share. Express gratitude that someone opened up their personal life to you. Look at your own reaction - does it wind you up because it hits close to home? And then, when you're able to be objective, join the conversation.

Thank you, Kyle, for sharing a piece of your journey with us. I hope it opens the door to many honest and valuable conversations.

Sin In The City

Las Vegas - Sin City - I'd never been before. Not until our travels took us to a first-time event in the Nevada desert. We traveled with our friends Shazzy and RaggedKnot to explore the fun offered by this pansexual event and explore the city as well. I was the only Vegas Virgin, and they popped my cherry good. We arrived on Thursday and settled into the hotel long enough to get changed from warm clothes to shorts and t-shirts. Denver was in the 20's and Vegas was in the 70's - woo hoo! We launched ourselved towards the Strip with much gusto, and dove into the mob to find lunch. Was I overwhelmed? Yes. Vegas has a strange energy to it - feels like a deep hunger underneath a hyperactive shiny man-child. It honestly took me a few days to get my bearings. But I was with friends and we had fun. There were gay bars (not what I expected) and there was shopping (shoes!) and there was eating. Plenty of that.

We tried America in New York New York, and found it ...lacking. Lacking service, lacking a consistent kitchen, lacking a manager who cared. I would not ever suggest anyone visit unless you have a large party of very hungry drunken friends who cannot decide on one type of food to eat. It does have a wide menu. Too bad it wasn't that great, and they cancelled our OpenTable reservation because we were early and were unable to add it back because their computer went down. Bah.

Our culinary highlight was Border Grill in Mandalay Bay. Wow. The service was fantastic, the drinks tasty, and the food was amazing. We tasted a variety of appetizers, cheviche, grilled skirt steak, Pescado Veracruzano, Yucatan pork, and sauteed shrimp. Everybody tasted around the table, and everybody was happy. Then came dessert with Tres Leches Cake, Pastel Rufina, and Flourless Chocolate Truffle Cake. Oh my - all we needed next was a blanket and a nap. Luckey thought it was better than Frontera Grill in Chicago, but I'm not so sure. I would rank them very close, with Frontera just a little higher.

But we didn't go to Las Vegas simply for food - there was a leather event! Sin In The City!
My favorite class was a hands-on class in florentine flogging. Two floggers going at the same time means double the whack-factor for your lucky submissive. I've always wanted to learn, but never pursued it much. This class gave me the basic exercises to develop the muscle memory to go like a pro. We'll see how much I practice and how this works out.

Luckey and I were not scheduled presenters at the event, but we reserved the Hospitality Suite for a Saturday afternoon session and presented out Puppy 101 class there. Shazzy brought a big batch of her AMAZING cookies and we had about 16 people in attendance. It was a lot of fun, and we made new friends and contacts. After class, we were both wiped out. Luckey fell back into headspace in the room and slept for about four hours, and I napped and dealt with some stomach-yuck that had pestered me all weekend. Unfortunately, we missed the Southwest Olympus Leather contest that night. <sad>

Another great part of this trip was the time spent connecting and reconnecting with friends. We had great visits with Mistress Simone and Brenna, Master Z, and Master Tallen. We also met a new friend out at The Buffalo on Friday night, and we'll be seeing him in a few weeks in Minneapolis when we visit. Shazzy and RaggedKnot were great traveling companions and I would be happy to travel with them again anytime.

Great job and thank you to the entire staff of Sin In The City! It was a great first year, and we wish you many happy returns!