Monday, April 8, 2013

Minneapolis Getaway

Who goes to Minnesota in the cold of Springtime? We do!

Pup Luckey and I made some fantastic connections while we are at MAL, and our friends invited us to visit Minneapolis if we could find the time in our schedule. So we found a weekend that worked and confirmed with them - then booked it. Feb 22-25! Our excitement grew as we looked forward to reuniting with our friends and meeting new ones. In the meantime, the amazing Ryan Brown worked with the eagleBOLT bar to secure some time for a hands-on rope class. We sent him some photos and he put together a flyer the Monday before we left, so they had 5 days to publicize the fun.
Once we landed, the wonderful Puppy JP picked us up at the airport and swept us away to the Mall of America. Holy crap, this place is big. Commerce everywhere. More stores than you can shake many sticks at. And hot men with their wives, children, or friends galore - we are talking some serious eye candy here, people. We grabbed lunch and then wandered for a bit. After we unpacked and got in a quick wardrobe change, it was time to visit the eagleBOLT bar for buy-1-get-3 drinks and start meeting the good people of Minneapolis. We had a great night, and then walked up the street for some food (a recurring theme in this blog). Finally it was time to crash and head home to Bud&Randy's (our gracious hosts) for the night. Surprise! Our friend Robbie drove in for the weekend and popped out of the basement to surprise me. He's so sweet! (and he snuggles good too!)
We tried not to stay up too late because Luckey and I had a photo shoot the next morning.

Robbie cooked us all breakfast on Saturday morning, and then it was time for us to head out for pictures. Richard Yates is an amazing photographer. He has a fantastic eye, and loves to shoot leather, rubber, neoprene, fetish, and hot men. Well, I had neoprene and leather, so I got to play. We've seen some preliminary shots, and he has blown me away. Then it was time to grab a quick bite and get back to the eagleBOLT for rope class. 55 people showed up. holy crap. 45 people were actively grabbing rope, losing their shirts, getting tied up or tying someone up. Luckey had his debut as the main teaching voice in this presentation, and he did a great job. I circulated in the crowd, helping and pointing out things they were doing right. Such a great group of guys - they had fun and so did we.

As the hands-on portion finished up, Luckey demonstrated a rope suspension and hung up one of our friends. During the lift, I pulled the slack unevenly and we got a little snarl in one rope. Once tension was on it, it locked in and wasn't going anywhere, but it meant we were going to have fun taking him down. Once the demo was done, we worked our way back through the ropes to release him, but the main line was tightly snarled. Two options - physically lift him up to release the tension and try to untangle the rope (which may or may not be successful) or cut him down. It only took a few moments to decide, and we got to try out our handy belt knife we each carry for any kind of rope play. Two people supported the suspended individual, and a third cut the problem rope quickly and simply. Then we set him down on the ground and finished untying him. Afterwards, Luckey and I discussed what happened to cause the snarl and we'll be watching out for that scenario in the future. We always state in class that the person is more important than the rope. While he was in no danger, it was best and smartest just to cut the rope and move forward.

After a wonderful dinner, we returned to the eagleBOLT for the Bear Dance. The president of the local club invited us to come and do more suspensions during the event, with one caveat - he was the first to get strung up. So we did! Luckey tied and suspended people from about 11 until 2. Such fun! (I really need to work on my speed so I can contribute more.) While he tied, I was fielding questions and chatting up the crowd.

Sunday morning we broke our fast at Fat Nat's with some really tasty food. Robbie hit the road after that and we were sorry to see him go. Soon we were guests at the Atons spring rush party. Again, we met so many nice folks and had great conversations, ate tasty food, and really enjoyed ourselves. Then it was time to unwind at Bud&Randy's place. Off went the boots and we kicked back for sandwiches,  margaritas, and board games. Ryan joined JP, Luckey, and me for a simple evening of fun with Bud&Randy. I was a big time geek in my teens, loved Advanced Dungeons & Dragons - I'm totally hooked on Munchkin now. And Say Anything is very interesting too. (Have another drink!) All good things must end, and some people had to work in the morning, so it was bedtime all too soon.

Randy shuttled us to the airport the next day, and we passed the time before flying with bacon wrapped tater tots and delicious burgers. (yes, eating again) One of our new friends met us for a while in the airport, and was kind enough to bump our seats up to Exit Row for the flight home - more legroom - THANK YOU!

Minneapolis was beautiful and sunny the entire weekend, and it snowed a lot in Denver while we were gone. I'm ok with that. It was sunny in Denver when we got home. I'm ok with that too. We had such a great time in Minneapolis, we'd love to return. Our hosts were kind and generous, their home warm and friendly, and even their cats were sweet! (like Piewacket, who snuck in a nap on my chest while I was napping.) The community was so welcoming, open, friendly, and nice! Again, we came home tired but recharged, encouraged, and excited to be part of this community. Thank you to everyone in Minneapolis for a wonderful trip.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Survey time!

Lately I've had some interesting conversations about the Trainer/handler role, and our place in the community. It brought up some questions that I'd like to submit to a larger pack than those I personally know (both online and locally). To this end, I created two surveys on SurveyMonkey, one for Pups and one for Trainers/handlers. I'll keep them open for a month, and then post the results. Sharing just a few minutes of your day will help create a larger view of our community. Thank you!

Fill out the Puppy Survey

Fill out the Trainer/Handler Survey

As an additional note, the biggest issue that drove this survey was the statement "Most of the puppies out there don't want a handler or trainer. They're happy to be strays." While I do not agree with this, I cannot speak for all, or even most, puppies. So I'll ask as many as can to please bark and make your voices heard. Thank you!

Monday, March 11, 2013

Respecting Honesty - Let's talk about sex

Last week, a young man named Kyle Bella posted an article on Buzzfeed entitled "Why It's So Hard To Talk About Bareback Sex". It was, in my opinion, a well-written and honest article about a highly important topic. Take a few minutes to read it. Then take a few more minutes and read through the comments that follow it. By simply posting this article, he as demonstrated WHY it is so hard to talk about bareback sex. The reactions I read came in hard and fast. They were not nice - I heard anger, fear, shame, guilt. How are we to have an honest and meaningful discussion about this topic when the knee-jerk reactions are so negative?

I immediately question the motives of the individuals who post so quickly and use hurtful language. When I was younger and deeply in the closet, I had a ready arsenal of gay jokes and hateful words to deflect attention from myself, and it ultimately reflected my own inner guilt and shame.

If I ever share anything personal with another person, and their reaction follows those lines of negativity, guilt, and shame, I tend to shut up and get very quiet. Conversation stops, sharing stops, and I will be highly reluctant to bring up that topic again - ever.

There's a banquet of food for thought in this HuffPost Live Video - it's an interesting 30 minutes if you have the time.

I'm not going to declare and defend a position on bareback sex. That's not the point. The point is that I think it's important to pay attention to what's going on in the world around us, assess what we're seeing, and form opinions based on educated critical thinking, not on emotional biases.

The article quoted a recent survey stating "With more than 50% of gay men no longer using condoms consistently,..." and that is, according to one person, "an appaling statistic". But I always remember the quote popularly attributed to Mark Twain  "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."  There are unknown factors behind that 50%+ number. Without direct access to the raw data, it's hard to accurately determine if that's a realistic number that correlates to the opinion presented. It appears to say that half of gay men have abandoned condom use. But the reality could be different.

If a committed couple in an open relationship do not use condoms with one another, but do use condoms with others, that would qualify as not using condoms consistently. It would also be an approach adopted by many couples in open relationships to protect themselves and to more fully enjoy their sex lives and mitigate the risk of contracting STIs from individuals outside the relationship. Is that  a responsible and intelligent choice? I think so. But it also feeds into that statistic and fuels emotional responses. That's just one of many options to consider when viewing the statistics - there are so many other ways to dissect the data, but that's a basic example.

If I were to get on a soapbox in the middle of this posting, it would be this: Condoms do not equal Safe Sex. Condom use is a factor in SAFER sex, but the presence of a condom does not that sex will be perfectly safe. I'd like to see that verbage changed. It seems to engender a belief that sexual behavior without a condom is dangeous and unsafe, when safer sex practices exist that do not involve a condom. Condoms are useful and valuable in protection from a number of STIs, but the inclusion of a condom in sexual behaviors does not guarantee that you are SAFE from contracting an STI.

But back to the intended topic - how do you have an open and honest conversation about a sensitive and emotionally loaded topic? I think it needs to happen with honesty and respect and humility. If someone shares an intimate and vulnerable piece of their life with you (or the entire internet) and it triggers an emotional response, stop. Exhale, inhale. Look at what's happening. You may not agree, but respect the courage it took to share. Express gratitude that someone opened up their personal life to you. Look at your own reaction - does it wind you up because it hits close to home? And then, when you're able to be objective, join the conversation.

Thank you, Kyle, for sharing a piece of your journey with us. I hope it opens the door to many honest and valuable conversations.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Sin In The City

Las Vegas - Sin City - I'd never been before. Not until our travels took us to a first-time event in the Nevada desert. We traveled with our friends Shazzy and RaggedKnot to explore the fun offered by this pansexual event and explore the city as well. I was the only Vegas Virgin, and they popped my cherry good. We arrived on Thursday and settled into the hotel long enough to get changed from warm clothes to shorts and t-shirts. Denver was in the 20's and Vegas was in the 70's - woo hoo! We launched ourselved towards the Strip with much gusto, and dove into the mob to find lunch. Was I overwhelmed? Yes. Vegas has a strange energy to it - feels like a deep hunger underneath a hyperactive shiny man-child. It honestly took me a few days to get my bearings. But I was with friends and we had fun. There were gay bars (not what I expected) and there was shopping (shoes!) and there was eating. Plenty of that.

We tried America in New York New York, and found it ...lacking. Lacking service, lacking a consistent kitchen, lacking a manager who cared. I would not ever suggest anyone visit unless you have a large party of very hungry drunken friends who cannot decide on one type of food to eat. It does have a wide menu. Too bad it wasn't that great, and they cancelled our OpenTable reservation because we were early and were unable to add it back because their computer went down. Bah.

Our culinary highlight was Border Grill in Mandalay Bay. Wow. The service was fantastic, the drinks tasty, and the food was amazing. We tasted a variety of appetizers, cheviche, grilled skirt steak, Pescado Veracruzano, Yucatan pork, and sauteed shrimp. Everybody tasted around the table, and everybody was happy. Then came dessert with Tres Leches Cake, Pastel Rufina, and Flourless Chocolate Truffle Cake. Oh my - all we needed next was a blanket and a nap. Luckey thought it was better than Frontera Grill in Chicago, but I'm not so sure. I would rank them very close, with Frontera just a little higher.

But we didn't go to Las Vegas simply for food - there was a leather event! Sin In The City!
My favorite class was a hands-on class in florentine flogging. Two floggers going at the same time means double the whack-factor for your lucky submissive. I've always wanted to learn, but never pursued it much. This class gave me the basic exercises to develop the muscle memory to go like a pro. We'll see how much I practice and how this works out.

Luckey and I were not scheduled presenters at the event, but we reserved the Hospitality Suite for a Saturday afternoon session and presented out Puppy 101 class there. Shazzy brought a big batch of her AMAZING cookies and we had about 16 people in attendance. It was a lot of fun, and we made new friends and contacts. After class, we were both wiped out. Luckey fell back into headspace in the room and slept for about four hours, and I napped and dealt with some stomach-yuck that had pestered me all weekend. Unfortunately, we missed the Southwest Olympus Leather contest that night. <sad>

Another great part of this trip was the time spent connecting and reconnecting with friends. We had great visits with Mistress Simone and Brenna, Master Z, and Master Tallen. We also met a new friend out at The Buffalo on Friday night, and we'll be seeing him in a few weeks in Minneapolis when we visit. Shazzy and RaggedKnot were great traveling companions and I would be happy to travel with them again anytime.

Great job and thank you to the entire staff of Sin In The City! It was a great first year, and we wish you many happy returns!

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Heart of America part 2


Saturday brought us back to Missie B's for a very different view. No day-glo to be seen, but there was leather. This year's Judging Panel featured Stan Dibble, Jeremy Morris, boy Tony, Pup Luckey, and me. The judges had interview time with the contestants while classes ran in the upstairs bar. The two contestants were both running for LeatherMan; unfortunately there was no Leatherboy contestant this year. These men are very new in the leather community, and they have a great future of learning and fun ahead of them. Both men were intelligent, presented themselves well, and faced the questions with grace. We didn't even make them cry! Then it was lunchtime (delicious buffet) and time for more classes. Luckey and I tried out a new class presentation we call Digging Deeper, which is more of a Puppy 201 class. No floor time, all talk time. It was our first time to present this, and there were some bumps, but we were well-received. There was good feedback, and I know where we'll be making some edits and changes for the next time.

When classes were done, we had enough time to grab a shower and head back for All You Can Eat Sushi (eating again) before the contest started. The wonderful Karen Ultra returned as M.C., and Luckey brought her the rocket fuel she consumes from Starbucks. Of course, she was dressed beautifully. The contest ran smoothly; the contestants performed well; the audience was entertained and respectful. In the end, there was a victor. Dom J will carry the title for a year and represent at American Brotherhood Weekend this Fall. In reality, both men won. They shared their hearts and their lives in a very public way, and that is SCARY. I had a good visit with both of them afterwards, and I'm convinced that they will both be involved in the leather community for years to come. With the contest wrapped up, it was time to relax. We headed off to finish the night relaxing with our local pack of friends and family, and eventually fell asleep before heading back to the hotel. Did I mention there was a "Christian Women's Conference" in the hotel? We got some funny looks when we walked through in our leathers, lol.

Sunday morning arrived way too early, and we headed back to Missie B's for brunch. Wow, what a spread! (yes, eating again) Plus we got a surprise - International Leatherboy BammBamm and his pup, Pup Tugger, drove out to join the festivities. It was great to see them and hang out for a while. There was more socializing and flirting, and good visits with both contestants again. Finally, it was time to drive home. It was a bit harder this time - probably because we were so tired from the non-stop weekend of fun. There was an early dinner stop at Braum's near Salina, KS, because it's really hard to drive past one, and both Chris and Hayes had never eaten there. Once again, the February weather was gracious to us and we arrived home safely that night.

Many thanks to boy Elena and the entire Heart of America crew for producing a wonderful weekend. Thanks to Missie B's for hosting, and thank you to our friends, family, and the local community of Kansas City for showing us such a great time. Great job everyone!

Friday, February 22, 2013

Heart of America part 1

Since 2009, boy chris and I have been doing our best to visit Kansas City every February for the 2013 Heart of America LeatherMan/boy contest. Last year we took Luckey for the first time, and he quickly found out why we love this weekend. It's the people - the community - the friends. They take us into their pack and we go go go and spend the time with friends. They treat us like family, and it's an amazing time.

Boy Elena asked Luckey and I to serve on this year's Judging Panel, and asked Chris to serve as Talleymaster. We were happy to help and contribute to their weekend. So when Friday the 8th rolled around, we began our great adventure.

See, this was the first time we were all traveling together. And by all, I mean me, Chris, Luckey, and his partner Hayes. Did I worry? A little. I did NOT expect any problems, but adding a new person to the mix for a trip when we're essentially going to be together for three days all the time - it has potential. Gladly, my little bit of worry was in vain.

Eight hours of road time from Denver to Kansas City with four drivers means lots of naptime, unless you want to read the billboards about stating "abortion is wrong" and "jesus loves you" all across Kansas. Leaving at 6am also contributes to plenty of naptime, but dealing with 4 appetites and 4 bladders means that 8 hours drive time became 10 hours of travel time, with an hour time zone shift in there too. No complaints here. It was one of the easiest drives I've ever done, and the weather was perfect. I am thankful.

Elena emailed on Thursday night asking if we wanted to do any kind of demo. We talked and got started texting friends and found a portable sling stand we could borrow for the night, and asked the ever sexy boy Tony if he would like to be airborne. We also texted our friend Travis as we passed Ft Riley to say we were passing by, and convinced him to meet us in KC that night. Once we arrived in KC, it was time to settle in to the hotel room, freshen up, and head off to Hamburger Mary's for a bite to eat before the Meet & Greet Social + Demo Time started for the night.There were introductions and raffle sales, socialization and flirting, drinking and flirting. As the night progressed, the room filled up with kinky folk, and everyone was friendly and welcoming. After we watched a punching/caning demo (ow!), we set up the sling stand and Luckey pulled out the rope. Soon, Tony was hanging around in a face-down horizontal suspension, and catching quite a bit of attention. Flying sheepie! It was a good night. After things wound down, we dropped Luckey and Hayes off at the room and Chris and I went to Missie B's. We met up with Travis and his friend there, and enjoyed the incredibly diverse crowd of people in the bar. There was a neon/day-glo themed event somewhere that night, and it looked like the early 80's had mugged most of the patrons - which was cool because there was apparantly a BUNCH of people at the event. Community support!

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Kink U

Our friend Jeremy Morris invited us to come visit Des Moines during the first week of February to kick off a month of kinky and educational weekends. We packed hemp rope and puppy gear and flew in around noon on Friday the 1st. Jeremy picked us up at the airport and it was off to lunch then time to get settled into our hotel room for a nap (and visit to the hot tub) before heading out for the bar crawl that night. The Blazing Saddle was our host bar for the weekend, and their motto is "Never a cover and always a double!" The hospitality in this city reminds me of my hometown - friendly, open, genuine, generous, and warm. It makes the 12 degree weather much easier to handle when your heart is warmed by friendship. There were five bars to visit that night, and a crowd of forty+ leatherpeople migrated around the circuit, finishing up at the Blazing Saddle to close the night. Luckey, Jeremy, and I took a few minutes to toast the memory of our friend George Wong. It would have been his birthday, and in his own way, he touched my life. We remember him with stories, with great affection, and with shots of Jager.

Saturday afternoon found us back at the Blazing Saddle for Kink U. Luckey started the afternoon with a rope suspension demo, hanging Ryan Brown up for display while I handled the talking points and some of the questions. Next came a very smart joint presentation combining flogging and caning & paddling. Two presenters, two bottoms, and they fastened them facing one another across a portable sling stand. The presenters took turns talking and applying their art. The crowd was educated and entertained. Next up was a Puppy 101 class with me and Luckey. He was lively and we had a lot of fun sharing the basics of safe puppy play and handling. We finished up the afternoon with the four presenters up front for a Dom/sub lifestyle discussion panel with Q&A. Then came dinner and we were back to the Blazing Saddle for gear night. Hot men, hot gear, strong drinks, and great fun! We ended up hanging out with Alexis from Le Chateau Exotique quite a bit this weekend, and she held her own in a crowd of gay leathermen.

Sunday was brunch and back to the Blazing Saddle for another beer bust and jock auction. Finally, after all our goodbyes were said and everybody hugged, we went back to Jeremy's house for pizza and some tv. There was football, singing, more football, and I napped through a good portion of it. Monday came and it was time to head to the airport, and then homeward.

My big impressions from the weekend?
  • The community is amazing in Des Moines. I met so many wonderful people and had so many great conversations - I am touched and warmed from the time spent there.
  • Those people know how to have a good time! oh my...yes.
  • Those people know how to EAT. omg. I'll be eating salads for two weeks as penance for all the wonderful things we ate. Zombie Burger late in the night - Walking Ched, Fried Brussels Sprouts; Dim Sum - so many great flavors (chicken feet - they're ok, but the texture is a little gummy for me); Quentin's; All you can eat brunch. oh yes, it was good.

Thank you again, Jeremy, for inviting us up and thank you to the Blazing Saddle for hosting us for such a great weekend.